What’s a Doula |Consider a Postpartum Doula

The day after my mid-winter birthday one month after I gave birth, I had the joy of introducing my newest Tiny Best Friend to my favorite place in the world, the Beach. One month after giving birth I was watching the sunset on my greatest contributions. The experience was akin to having my children baptized by Mother Earth. It was made possible by my postpartum doula.

Having a postpartum doula made those first few months after giving birth the second time around, completely unrecognizable to the same period after birthing my first child. The period of your life that’s normally isolating and terrifying in a new mother’s life (even without a pandemic) was made exponentially by the loving hands and caring heart of my knowledgeable postpartum doula.

What’s a Doula?

A doula is defined as a nonmedical professional that emotionally and practically supports birthing humans in preparation for birth, during labor, and postpartum.

It takes a special kind of person to be in service to others at the most vulnerable life-changing point in their life. My doula Katie Tabour who served as both my birth and postnatal doula is one of my best friends. Her calming nature and ability to provide what I needed before I even had the words to ask had my partner ask her several times if her care was standard practice. She spent plenty of beaming moments assuring him (read us) that nothing she was doing, was out of her routine scope of postnatal care as a doula.

What’s a Postpartum Doula?

A postpartum doula specializes in Aftercare for the human that did the laboring. While everyone else in the whole universe is focused on the newest life to grace the planet a postpartum doula focuses care on the one who brought forth life.

Even though there are two adults in the house and we spend all day at home, it provides so much peace to have an additional set of hands during the workday so my partner can focus on work and I can focus on healing, and mothering however that looks to me.

Besides the fact that it’s a pandemic, I don’t have any parent’s earthside to pitch in and my in-laws are a continent away. To put into perspective what sort of strain that put on me during my first pregnancy and subsequently parenting journey. My first kid was two years old before I spent an hour away from them. They were three years old before they spent time without either of their parents. I’ve never had a babysitter or a nanny so the benefit of having a postpartum doula was life-changing

What does a postpartum doula do?

Make you a better person, infuse your life with joy the likes of which you’ve never before known. Make you feel less crazy while reassuring you that yu are indeed a badass. The list is endless! A more formal list of postpartum doula duties follows, for those who are into a less ontological list of services.

Food Prep | Most postpartum doulas have an arsenal of herbal teas and broths that they prepare for birthing mothers. These ancient elixirs can be prepared in your home or batch prepared for all their clients before home. The teas and soups always have scientifically-backed reasons you should ingest them to boost the healing process and become quite addicting

They can also help with food prep in your home. I really enjoy eating a fruit platter in the morning for breakfast and Katie has was kind enough in more than one occasion to pre-cut fruits and veggies for me or roast some root tubers for the week.

Discuss what you need with your own doula to ensure you get the most out of your postnatal care

Light, house cleaning | I gave birth in the middle of a pandemic at the tail end of a remodel. I was literally underwater with the number of things the was to do around the house. Every morning before coming Katie would send me a text and inquire if there was a certain project I wanted to tackle that day.

You have no idea how much help it is to have someone load the washer while you rest, or clean up your kids’ toys around the house. Having a postpartum doula meant staying on top of things when I truly was so close to feeling buried by my to-do list

Feeding | There is nothing better than having someone else feed your baby for one second. Not only will they feed your baby, but most postnatal doulas are also knowledgeable about helping you breastfeed your baby (if that’s part of your journey) and many are also certified, lactation consultants.

Postnatal care | The human body is this miraculous thing that has the uncanny ability to look good even when it’s failing. Postpartum you need

Parenting Support | Having someone tell you you’re doing great. Your postnatal doula actually knows what a disaster looks like, this, quite literally changed my life.

Because @ktjoyy came at her usual time, before the end of the workday, I felt supported. My partner also felt a weight off of his shoulder he could work easier on those days knowing he wouldn’t have to pull himself from a meeting to put out a fire or solve an emergency.

Prioritize Rest | After giving birth, you need to rest. it doesn’t matter how your baby got earthside, your body needs to heal from the physical ordeal of being changed so fast in a short amount of time. Your Placenta separating from the walls of your uterus leaves a dish-sized wound in its place. The amount of energy your body exerts to build a human drain every energy store in your body. Postnatal your hair, your teeth your nails your BODY is depleted of nutrients at the cellular level, no one knows this better than a doula.

You need time to heal and that time you need is resting.

I blame snapback culture and the rest of the insane ideals posed on birthing humans by the patriarchy. Pregnancy, yes humans have been doing it for hundreds of years, but humans have also been dying from it for hundreds of years. It’s not something that should be taken lightly and the amount of rest you need to heal from the ordeal your body has gone through to bring a life forth is no laughing matter.

A postpartum doula knows intimately the marathon your body has just run and will constantly remind you to rest. Not do light sweeping, not feed the baby while watching TV but lay down, shut down, and rest.

This time around because I feel so supported so cared for, I gave myself grace to leave my one month at home and my 5 year old asleep (with their baba) so I could spend three hours on the beach watching the sunrise.

If you are a birthing mama in the tri-state area and wish to use my postpartum doula Katie feel free to reach out to her at Motheringjoy@gmail.com tell her Sunnie sent you

If you’re pregnant or planning on becoming pregnant so can’t recommend getting a postpartum doula enough. If you’re a birthing human looking for prenatal or postpartum care and prefer a Black doula or midwife I’ve compiled a list of Black Brithworkers in NYC .

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